I Trying My Best To Forget The Past

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well, i have changed my url into a private blog, by right , you should know wht happen ba, cause those who i invited should know lor, kena spamed and whatevr, i will just try this out for a while , if no one tag, then closed the blog lor, easy hor? kk bye,

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f**k up by some idiotics, retarded bytiches.... yesterday went to malaysia to attend a wedding dinner at a school hall!!!!!!! cute hor? first time sia , first time attending a wedding dinner at school hall, haha, quite fun then we went to karaok then someone sms me , say what settle matter toda, told her tat i in malaysia now and having fun, ask her dun spoil my mood, but she say she dun care, then she call, i answer, i walked to the very end to answer as it is veri noisy, then when chatting , suddenly became another persn talking to me, then my family members go scold me, say i myself wandering off, they was looking for me anxiously as they tot i was being kidnapped, they they scold me so damn rashly that i cried, for a long time but actually not because i was frighten by them but because of the words the someone said to me , i was certianly very upset by what they said. why must the heaven totured me like tat? it was just a few more days then i have to take psle le, and i have been trying to hate her and forget her , finally, i did , now they, come and call me and remind me of all the things, why must they be so cruel?

Labels: heaven is so damn cruel to me

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i have suddenly realise tat i have hate you, maybe because you hurted me seriously by your sacrastic comments on you blog, sorry, but i think i will not treat you as a friend whether i have changed or not, my attitutes sucks like what you say, you can go snatch my friends for all you wan, friend snatcher!!!!!!!
okay, shalll not talk about this friendsnatcher , and agitate myself, went to meet ms lee today and guess what, i only get 207 for my t score, disapointing, but they say i nevr put my heart in it to do, and i agree, i am so go gonna worked hard to get better results.. then went out at 5 to meet jia yu and siang yu. :) when goin go out , i find my racket but cannot find, haiz.. make me so damn pek chek, then nvm lor, go meet them , play block catching, saw naziera, then come back use com, now chatting to one of my bestie, pei ying on msn , cool hor? although we in differnt sch, we shared a lot of common interests. i can shared my secrets to her and she can too, we are best pals in my heart lar, dunnom what she tinks ma , hehe, shall stop here , bye.

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someone- ya, my attitute sucks, and it sucks like hell, but it is your business? my attitute you also want care, very bossy hor you? i dun care what you tink of me, my attitute sucks or wadevr is my business, i have no friends or not, also my business, i dun need you to bother about my business, THANK YOU. you say my attitute is fcuking but have you tot of yours? you say i treat you as a dog, have you tot of how you treated me int he past or even now to your friends? pls lar, dun always comment on others when you yourself is not perfect, i dun know why in the past i want to reconline with you lor, but now i am sure, i dun wan, i know if i really get back with you , i will suffer a lot, and i mean a lot, of coz you will have to suffer too, cause you have to face my fcuking attitute in the past, if my friends chose to hate me cause of you, i nothing say, cause i know tat those are not true friends.

another person- remember when you and her quarrel for a very long time, i was the one who stood at the middle, not helping either one of you , in the end, i helped both of you to get back, but you tell others that you hate me , you would not side with me or be friends with me but will side with her, let me tell you , i dun wan to have such a friend like you , if all my friends left me , so be it. cause like i say they are not true friends at all, i know that whatevr i do, my family will be behind me and support me, so let me tell you , i dun need you to like me , go ahead and hate me for all you wan, go!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my closest friend/ most trusted one- you should know who you are as you are the only one i trusted the most now, if you choose to be like them, choose to hate me , i have no choice, go ahead but at least let me know , cause i rather break the friendship now then let you hate me int he future, i respect your decision, if you decided to stay with me , go ahead i wont forced you... just rmb, i will always love you

Labels: your decision doesnt affects me

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back to posting..... on sat, actually going to BPP de lor, but mum lar, say what got ppl want come and fix the fridge which make me cannot go ,!!!!!!!!!!! then nvm lor, go watched death note 3, nice, make me almost cry, when he say :'' find happiness, near. and watari, i want to stay longer in this world.'' it is such a great movie, great!!!!!!!!!

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slept at about 12 sth last night, talked to jia yu on the phone from 10 sth to 12 ba , i tink so... dunno lar, cause i use com till 10 sth ma , then call her to chat , and i did sth that i regretted a lot, which is i go read her blog, evrytime , i read her blog, i will cry , cause cant forget her , haiz.... and i tink i am beganing to like another person leh , who?!! not telling you .. hehe, i have finallly given up on the freaker le , yeah!!!!!!!!! but not sure whether i like tat guy or not, some ppl say tat can see that i like him but i dunno leh , want know who? come find me and if i am close to you , i will tell you who de... shall stop here , bye

Labels: you are the everything to me

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I didnt know that i am so damn worthless in your eyes, you once told me tat i am once your close pals, and i am happy that i did in the past, at least i did. for you, i cried million of times.. i know i cant afford to lose you , but i feel tat you will be much more happiler when i am not around wif you, not going recess with you, you chose not to reply me the answers... maybe you dun wan hurt me , but i already know the answers, i am now wondering whether you got treat me as good pasl before or not? but whatever you did, i will not forget you, and i hope you wont forget me too, wished you happiness , I LOVED YOU DEARLY, alothough you dun loved me anymore, i have no choice nor i have the right to.. stay happy always my best friend and close pal, good luck with your psle , take care, DARLING, i know i dun have thr chance to call you that again le, so let me call you the last time, DARLING! take care!

Labels: but i have no choice..., i cant bear to forget you

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it has been 2 days since we talked,and i cannot tolerate it anymore, i know you can be happy without me , but cant, evryday when i am free, my thoughts will went wild and i will tot of you and will start to feel like crying... when i saw you during recesses and when going up and down of MT classrooms, i could not say hi to you, could not smile at you, could not joke with you, i find it meaniless for me to live without you, you have become a most important part of me ,since the day i started to trust you.... I APOLOGISED FORTHE WORDS I SAID, BUT I KNOW THAT A APOLOGY CANNOT SOLVED EVERYTHING.. I KNEW IT, AND I KNEW, TMR IS LISTENING COMPRE, AND IF YOU CONTINUE TO TREAT ME THIS WAY, WITHOUT TALKING TO ME AND AVOIDING ME , WE WOULD HAVE PASSED THE DAY AND TILL TUES, WHEN SCHOOL REOPENS THEN MAYBE WE WOULD HAVFE TOT IT OVER AND START TALKING... BUT AT THAT POINT OF TIME, WE WOULD HAVE NOT TALKED FOR 6 DAYS.. 6 DAYS !!!!!!!! I DUNW AN THIS TO HAPPEN TO ME , I DO NOT WANT TO STOP TALKING TO YOU FOR 6 DAYS.. I AM AFRAID TO LOSE YOU, CAUSE YOU ARE VERY IMPORTANT TO ME... IF YOU DUN DARE TO TRUST ME AGAIN ANYMORE, I UNDERSTAND BUT CAN WE AT LEAST BE FRIENDS BACK? GO RECESSES TGT AND JOKE TGT, I DUN NEED YOU TO BE MY GOOD PALS IF YOU DUN WISHED TO , COZ I KNOW THAT YOU WILL BE A GREAT PAL TO ME IN MY HEART ALWAYS, PLS, I AM WAITING FOR YOUR ANSWER...

Labels: LIFE WOULD BE MEANILESS WITHOUT YOU....

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i know it you hated me now, or should i say i feel tat you do hate me now... in the past, we were enemies, just a few days ago, we were great pals, close pals, but now, we are back to stranger, enemies... i would rather hate you since primary four, cause if i have continue to hate you , i will not suffer so damn much, i know, since i became better with you, i have started to care for you, and been treating you as my best friend, i know it is imposible for us to be best friends, but in the past, what i wished for is not you being my best friend, it does not matter to me, cause i know in my heart, you will always be my best friend, but now, i am still wishing the same things, although now things may have change a lot, i know iwill stilll gard you as my best friend, closest friend ever, when i read your blog post, i cried, i know this may be your words that are from the bottom of the heart, but i have no choice nor i have the right to stop you from thinking, but let me remind you, you will still be my best friend ever.

starting from this year, i have 3 person that i must have, or i would find nth to live for, except for my families, they all always the best, now it is only left 1 , 2 have left me and i know i am destined to have this kind of life, i dun wish more, but hoped that you will be happy without me in your life, i know it is the fact now, the fact is that you definetely will live better without me interfering with your life. ALL THE BEST TO YOU...
you should know who you are.... but if she never see it, it is alright, maybe in her heart i am really incorigible that she do not wan to see my blog, see my face, talk to me like i say, i only hope that you will be happy, then i will be contented.

Labels: yoursmile is my biggest happiness....

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postings once again.. went out on friday to my auntie apartment to help clean the apartment.. so damn sian lar, at that apatment, nth do lor, worse still at there for 7 hrs.. sian, then zi lian lor, sms friends and chat on phone with darling and girlfriend.. then on sat went lst hse do homework... then went badminton, it is really sian lor... then she zi lian again... LOL right? shall post some pics.. some of mine, and friends....

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我知道勉强是不会有幸福的。就像darling 所说的，

Coercion wont bring happiness 如果他注定不是你的

，你能做什么呢？当作是上一堂课。当作安慰自己也好。

他不喜欢你这件事会是个事实，不管你如何逃避，

现实始终是现实。逃避是永远解决不了问题的。

（copyright from lstdarling blog)

我是很早就知道了他一开始就不喜欢我的，可是，

要忘了一个人不是那么容易的。在不用说是一个我爱

了7个月的男孩我为了他付出了很多，委屈了很多，

可时，我认为，只要他开心，我就会认为我所为他所作的，

都会是值得的。只要能看到他的笑容，我就满足了。。。。

Labels: 勉强是不会有幸福

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went out with calista,lst darling, mei na qing ren and chiew teng,johan, fong yan and li min to play badminton today.. li min took a bike wif her!!!:) so damn happy de:) coz i have always wanted to ride a bike again.. haha.. crazy yea? okay lar, today something happen lar,if you are my close friends... you will know lar.. then went to ride bike lor, li min sit behind me leh, but hor, keep sliting lar, then she keep screaming.. haha, no lisence de... then went bb then go mei na hse, outside play badminton, but i am emo.. haiz.. you tink i want meh?? i today cried a lot of times leh... haiz.. okay lar, shall stopped her... goodnight...

Labels: emo isnt what i want

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updating my blog just to not to let it be dead and waste everyone who help me create this blog de effort to be in vain yea???
well, start from yesterday, mum not at home, went out with my aunties to shopping lor, i nvr go coz got tuition, and i also dun wan go de lor, go for what?? they auntie shopping then we go there be statue meh? rather stay at home then go out wif friends lor.. then went tuition, back to home, change pants then went to buy kfc to buy dinner, at first very hungry de leh, then went coming back saw darling and qing ren playing bad, then went to find them, then play a while lor, suddenly, not hungry le, funny yea?? then nth lor, go back home, then conference wif johnson, lst, mei na, daniel..
today...
went to meet lst, mei na, evenly then go to sch, on the way there, we keep bickering and found out tat mei na like sissy type de boys... MUHAHAAHAAHAHAH.. jkjk.. ltr, she read it, kill me how??? then went sch, saw that freaker, so damn happy de, you know i threee days nvr see him le leh.. then lesson end, went for tuition again then come back.. eat dinner and now i am, using the com and posting.. while chatting with lst darling aka coach...
btw, lst is now my badminton coach, she is going to help me to wil LEE LI MIN in badminton, i cant lose to her again since i already lose to her in chinese le which at the first placem i shouldnt have lose lor... arhh!!!!!!!!! i will win her de, you will gimme your support yea???

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well.. i just came back from malaysia, a two days trip there.... went kampong,and jb, went there mainly to attend a pray of my dead great-grandma...when we reached there, i played the ds on the way there as it was super duper long de trip lor, slept too.. then when we reached there, i got down and saw some chickens, and a cat.. muhahaha.. then play xiang qi wif my cousin , guess who win??? of coz is me lose lar... then proceeded to pray liao lor, then after praying, when to look at some ''show hse'' they say is those kind of hse which is also known as sample hse ba, for those who wanted to buy hse..then after seeing some of them, they went to have a tea break, and on the way there on car, i slept again .. haha, this proves tat how pig i am.. no lar, coz i am really very tired lor, slept at 1 30 then wake up at 6 30.. haiz... normally wont one but coz i watch the death note that i borrowed from darling..watch continuously for 4 hrs.. none stop, watch one and two lar.. okay lar, back to topic..then when we reached there, i ate lor, then went to a shop in kampong and bought kites to play at my auntie hse(in kampong lar) then bought le, went to her hse, tried the kites but no wind, so dun have fly kite lor, then went to ride bicycle, so damn fun de, coz iskampong ma, then the hse backyard was full of grass and land.. so damn big de, but fun lar, then rode the bicycle to the road outside the hse, it was fun, realy very fun, it has beed ages sincve i have so much fun le

then went back lor, and here i am, in singapore.....

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well, back to posting lar... went jia yu hse just now then went to 527 to meet calista and lst they all... then , i never play badminton lor.. nevermind lar :) then rain slightly and they proceeded to play ice-man with johnson, wei yong, wei peng,xaiver,alden,daniel,lst,calista,shany,yeel ling,eugene,and some others which i forget their names liao lar , girls are the catchers...then catch lor.. those boys run really fast man, especially, johnson.. i chased for so long never chased...so damn pissed off.. then they still say that i like johnson... STUPID LAR... shall end here.. coz gonna offline le

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just came back from 527.... just now darling came my hse to use com then we went to calista hse then to 527.mine first time going 527 wif them.. but unfortunately, sth happened and i am not suppose to tell you what really happened lar.. haiz.. darling , you take care hor, dun let anything to happen to you, i will back you up or should i say support you? Aiya, same lar, when you need me tell me can liao lor, haha a bit mushy man.then we went 527, i saw a guy which i dun wan to see... He is so damn guy nad he tot he is everyting? i tell you, even if i lose you, i wont cry for you, i wont feel remoseful for what i say to you coz you let me tink tat you dun need it and i am telling you this fcuking last time, i wont beg you to forgive me or what, i apologise coz of my friends and i feel tat i am in the wrong, but if you dun treat it seriously, i dun give a fcuking damn anymore and i mean anymore.NO MORE . those who know me will know that i am not the sort of ppl who say one ting and do anything.I AM WARNING YOU I TELL YOU, I DIDNT SCOLD YOU BACK OR QUARREL WIF YOU COZ YOU ARE MY FRIEND ONCE. BUT IF YOU CONTINUE TO KB ME, SRY BUT I WILL SCOLD YOU BACK WHATEVER I TINK YOU ARE.

Labels: I WONT TOLERATE ANYMORE

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许晴 (: ex-greenridgean 09, kranjian,10 basketballer(:
See the cruel world on 26-04-97 6-honesty,09 1E 10

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